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It is the most dreamed about, sought after and desired goal of nearly every man and woman on this planet. It is the theme for the hit ABC series, “The Bachelor.” It is an annual event on “The Today Show.” It accounts for the highest rated episodes of soaps and prime time television series.
It is the target result of online personals, speed dating, friend of friend set ups and meddling moms everywhere. If you didn’t grow up living in a cave, then yes, you know what I’m talking about: marriage.
In America, we’ve come to paint such the ideal picture of wedded bliss. Outside of the spiritual, the love between a man and a woman expressed in this context is the pinnacle and apex of the human emotional gamut. On the wedding day, we invite our closest friends, wear our best clothes and spend great amounts of money to make this day the most memorable one we will ever have.
There is a religious service, a photographer, an announcement in the paper, invitations, a reception, a dj and huge cake. What a celebration. What a time to remember…especially when the minister says, “For as long as you both shall live.”
But America is such a society of paradox and contradiction isn’t she?
The same culture that promotes, endorses and champions marriage also attacks it. The Soaps wouldn’t be the soaps without the affair – and the affair on these shows always builds itself up as an even stronger love than the marriage, doesn’t it? The same network the brings us “The Bachelor” also brings us “Grey’s Anatomy,” which currently features a married couple cheating on each other with other doctors in the same hospital in some complex, but intriguing love triangle.
In Hollywood, Brittany Spears gets married for 55 hours. Brad dumps Jennifer for Angeline and runs off to Africa as cinema and screen play out their dramas in real life.
America – the great paradox, where there are more married couples living today than ever before, but at the same time, the divorce rate is 50%. So, why are the casualty rates for marriage so high? Why are couples today having such a hard time making it?
There are a number of reasons. Over the last several decades, Americans have become obsessed with their feelings. Movies and television need to feature non-stop drama, violence or sex to keep viewers’ from tuning out, radio and magazine need to constantly push the envelope for higher ratings to captivate listeners.
Even worship services need to be almost like pep rallies to provide worshippers not just with teachings and messages, but with the intoxicating experience of God. America in our time is addicted to feeling good. We expect it in entertainment, consumerism and worship. Of course, we expect it in relationships, as well.
But when the wedding day high eventually subsides, and when the mundane but necessary responsibilities of life become routine people start to believe that they have somehow lost their ideal and that it’s better to leave so you can still have the next twenty years of your life to find someone else to be happy with.
And sadly, the opportunity to do that today is easier than ever before – friends who volunteer to set you up, married but flirting websites, and a common and casual cultural acceptance accompanied by the mindset that sometimes things just don’t work out.
In a July 2005 article on Fox news, it was reported that “For as long as we both shall live” is being replaced by vows reflecting modern day attitudes. Nowadays, people are entering marriage speaking vows such as, “For as long as we continue to love each other," or "For as long as our love shall last" or "Until our time together is over." Signs of the times for sure, but God has something much different in mind.
In our Genesis reading this morning, the Lord Himself actually plays cupid. He brings the woman to the man and introduces the two. God specially creates the woman so that she and the man will complement one another. They will fit together according to God’s design – in an emotional way, in a spiritual way and as a visible manifestation of this connection, God will even make their bodies capable of joining together to bring about a closeness unparalleled in all the rest of creation.
And through the union of their love, new life will be brought forth. God will continue His work of creation through this union. He will turn the man, who was alone, into a couple by providing him with a wife. Then, if it is His will, He will turn the couple into a family by providing them with children. Jesus Himself would add about this union of man and woman, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.”
God is at work to join a husband and wife. He blesses such unions where there is faith in His Son. Such marriages are stronger too because they are not only built on the commitment the couple makes to one another, but they are built on a common faith in Jesus Christ and a common understanding of the words, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.” In that case, it is also your faith in Christ that keeps you married, that keeps you from being the one who puts the marriage asunder.
What God joins together, He seeks to maintain. He enables you to forgive your spouse for his or her mistakes. He enables you to love more deeply than physical appearance so that as we get older, our love for the other person endures. He also gives you the perspective that the wedding vow is a lifelong promise and not just to the other person. The vow you take is also a promise to God that you will continue in this marriage.
Now, God does recognize two reasons for separation to occur. The first is adultery and the second is abandonment, which may also include abuse. Sometimes, sin causes one partner or both to put themselves above their vows. In the Garden of Eden the separation of sin sought to replace union of every kind. This was apparent in Adam’s first words to God when he is confronted with his sin, “The woman you gavest to be with me, she gave me from the fruit of the tree and I ate” (Gen 3:12).
You see Adam’s words not only testify to a separation from Eve, but also a separation from God. In the fall, Adam sought to undo God’s work of creation. God had said it is not good for the man to be alone, but here is Adam rejecting both Eve and God and re-embracing his original state of solitude, which is the one thing before the Fall into sin that God said wasn’t good.
Because of Original Sin, we are sinful by nature and sadly our nature will easily intrude itself into the marriage relationship. God does recognize the unbearable injustice of some situations, however, and He does permit the marriage to be dissolved in some cases. But even in the worst of marital sins, He is also, at times, able to work forgiveness and repair that vow which was broken and make it even stronger than it was before.
Everyone’s story is different and the complexities of our society today leave us with more praying and consulting to do than ever before. This is why my office door is open to those of you who are pondering such things. And while I’m on the topic, let me make a plug for marital counseling.
Don’t wait until it’s too late before you come into see me. Don’t talk yourself out of it, don’t put it off, do not think I will think less of you, and don’t make any excuse that prevents you from getting the help you need. You would be surprised how quickly a few sessions of counseling can completely turn your marriage around. Believe me, I have seen it done.
Now Christ shed His blood and gave His life so that our sins would be atoned for. His purpose was to restore us to our Creator and to heal the brokenness that shattered our relationship with Him. As a side benefit of Christ’s work of restoration, the sin between human beings is also, through Christ, capable of being confessed, forgiven and overcome.
The union between a man and wife is the most special relationship that can exist on earth. Jesus suffered death so that by the grace of God, He might taste death for everyone and create new life and the promise of a new union – both with Himself and with each other. In Christ, the isolation of Adam from God and Eve comes to an end.
The sacrifice of God’s Son gives the union of man and wife hope once again. Through a common faith in Christ, your marital problems can be overcome and your marriage can proclaim the blessings of God’s goodness and design as it was intended. Sometimes marriages can suffer because of circumstances – your job is interfering,
your schedule is overloaded, you’re not spending time together just as a couple. Now those things are fixable. But sometimes marriages suffer because of a certain spiritual problem – you adopt cultural attitudes about divorce, you don’t deal with your conflicts, you treat your spouse disrespectfully, you start drinking a lot, you stop coming to church.
Those problems are also fixable. You know, Adam and Eve’s marital problems started when they looked away from God to embrace something apart from Him. Their problem was spiritual, but God, who is rich in more grace than we deserve, is able to heal our separation from Him and each other.
The blood of the Lamb is the glue that will fix a broken marriage. So, if things between you and your spouse are shattered, seek the one crucified for your mistakes and seek some counseling so that you and your spouse can be made whole once again. Amen.
It is the target result of online personals, speed dating, friend of friend set ups and meddling moms everywhere. If you didn’t grow up living in a cave, then yes, you know what I’m talking about: marriage.
In America, we’ve come to paint such the ideal picture of wedded bliss. Outside of the spiritual, the love between a man and a woman expressed in this context is the pinnacle and apex of the human emotional gamut. On the wedding day, we invite our closest friends, wear our best clothes and spend great amounts of money to make this day the most memorable one we will ever have.
There is a religious service, a photographer, an announcement in the paper, invitations, a reception, a dj and huge cake. What a celebration. What a time to remember…especially when the minister says, “For as long as you both shall live.”
But America is such a society of paradox and contradiction isn’t she?
The same culture that promotes, endorses and champions marriage also attacks it. The Soaps wouldn’t be the soaps without the affair – and the affair on these shows always builds itself up as an even stronger love than the marriage, doesn’t it? The same network the brings us “The Bachelor” also brings us “Grey’s Anatomy,” which currently features a married couple cheating on each other with other doctors in the same hospital in some complex, but intriguing love triangle.
In Hollywood, Brittany Spears gets married for 55 hours. Brad dumps Jennifer for Angeline and runs off to Africa as cinema and screen play out their dramas in real life.
America – the great paradox, where there are more married couples living today than ever before, but at the same time, the divorce rate is 50%. So, why are the casualty rates for marriage so high? Why are couples today having such a hard time making it?
There are a number of reasons. Over the last several decades, Americans have become obsessed with their feelings. Movies and television need to feature non-stop drama, violence or sex to keep viewers’ from tuning out, radio and magazine need to constantly push the envelope for higher ratings to captivate listeners.
Even worship services need to be almost like pep rallies to provide worshippers not just with teachings and messages, but with the intoxicating experience of God. America in our time is addicted to feeling good. We expect it in entertainment, consumerism and worship. Of course, we expect it in relationships, as well.
But when the wedding day high eventually subsides, and when the mundane but necessary responsibilities of life become routine people start to believe that they have somehow lost their ideal and that it’s better to leave so you can still have the next twenty years of your life to find someone else to be happy with.
And sadly, the opportunity to do that today is easier than ever before – friends who volunteer to set you up, married but flirting websites, and a common and casual cultural acceptance accompanied by the mindset that sometimes things just don’t work out.
In a July 2005 article on Fox news, it was reported that “For as long as we both shall live” is being replaced by vows reflecting modern day attitudes. Nowadays, people are entering marriage speaking vows such as, “For as long as we continue to love each other," or "For as long as our love shall last" or "Until our time together is over." Signs of the times for sure, but God has something much different in mind.
In our Genesis reading this morning, the Lord Himself actually plays cupid. He brings the woman to the man and introduces the two. God specially creates the woman so that she and the man will complement one another. They will fit together according to God’s design – in an emotional way, in a spiritual way and as a visible manifestation of this connection, God will even make their bodies capable of joining together to bring about a closeness unparalleled in all the rest of creation.
And through the union of their love, new life will be brought forth. God will continue His work of creation through this union. He will turn the man, who was alone, into a couple by providing him with a wife. Then, if it is His will, He will turn the couple into a family by providing them with children. Jesus Himself would add about this union of man and woman, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.”
God is at work to join a husband and wife. He blesses such unions where there is faith in His Son. Such marriages are stronger too because they are not only built on the commitment the couple makes to one another, but they are built on a common faith in Jesus Christ and a common understanding of the words, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.” In that case, it is also your faith in Christ that keeps you married, that keeps you from being the one who puts the marriage asunder.
What God joins together, He seeks to maintain. He enables you to forgive your spouse for his or her mistakes. He enables you to love more deeply than physical appearance so that as we get older, our love for the other person endures. He also gives you the perspective that the wedding vow is a lifelong promise and not just to the other person. The vow you take is also a promise to God that you will continue in this marriage.
Now, God does recognize two reasons for separation to occur. The first is adultery and the second is abandonment, which may also include abuse. Sometimes, sin causes one partner or both to put themselves above their vows. In the Garden of Eden the separation of sin sought to replace union of every kind. This was apparent in Adam’s first words to God when he is confronted with his sin, “The woman you gavest to be with me, she gave me from the fruit of the tree and I ate” (Gen 3:12).
You see Adam’s words not only testify to a separation from Eve, but also a separation from God. In the fall, Adam sought to undo God’s work of creation. God had said it is not good for the man to be alone, but here is Adam rejecting both Eve and God and re-embracing his original state of solitude, which is the one thing before the Fall into sin that God said wasn’t good.
Because of Original Sin, we are sinful by nature and sadly our nature will easily intrude itself into the marriage relationship. God does recognize the unbearable injustice of some situations, however, and He does permit the marriage to be dissolved in some cases. But even in the worst of marital sins, He is also, at times, able to work forgiveness and repair that vow which was broken and make it even stronger than it was before.
Everyone’s story is different and the complexities of our society today leave us with more praying and consulting to do than ever before. This is why my office door is open to those of you who are pondering such things. And while I’m on the topic, let me make a plug for marital counseling.
Don’t wait until it’s too late before you come into see me. Don’t talk yourself out of it, don’t put it off, do not think I will think less of you, and don’t make any excuse that prevents you from getting the help you need. You would be surprised how quickly a few sessions of counseling can completely turn your marriage around. Believe me, I have seen it done.
Now Christ shed His blood and gave His life so that our sins would be atoned for. His purpose was to restore us to our Creator and to heal the brokenness that shattered our relationship with Him. As a side benefit of Christ’s work of restoration, the sin between human beings is also, through Christ, capable of being confessed, forgiven and overcome.
The union between a man and wife is the most special relationship that can exist on earth. Jesus suffered death so that by the grace of God, He might taste death for everyone and create new life and the promise of a new union – both with Himself and with each other. In Christ, the isolation of Adam from God and Eve comes to an end.
The sacrifice of God’s Son gives the union of man and wife hope once again. Through a common faith in Christ, your marital problems can be overcome and your marriage can proclaim the blessings of God’s goodness and design as it was intended. Sometimes marriages can suffer because of circumstances – your job is interfering,
your schedule is overloaded, you’re not spending time together just as a couple. Now those things are fixable. But sometimes marriages suffer because of a certain spiritual problem – you adopt cultural attitudes about divorce, you don’t deal with your conflicts, you treat your spouse disrespectfully, you start drinking a lot, you stop coming to church.
Those problems are also fixable. You know, Adam and Eve’s marital problems started when they looked away from God to embrace something apart from Him. Their problem was spiritual, but God, who is rich in more grace than we deserve, is able to heal our separation from Him and each other.
The blood of the Lamb is the glue that will fix a broken marriage. So, if things between you and your spouse are shattered, seek the one crucified for your mistakes and seek some counseling so that you and your spouse can be made whole once again. Amen.
Marriage in the 21st century
Genesis 2:18-24
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